5 Adult Characters in Children's Cartoons

Traditionally, having adults in a work designed for children has been a tricky gambit, especially as of late. In the olden days, the grown-ups were the wise yet standoffish authority figures, staying in the background until it was time to save the yunguns or dole out much needed punishment. Now it seems the best you can hope for is an ineffectual goof of a parent, if the myriad abysmal Disney Channel Sitcoms are any evidence; they get in the way and embarrass the kids with their icky, stupid grown up hobbies. Rare is the adult who is as interesting and well-rounded as the youthful protagonists, and who manages to both be an authority figure AND a cool cat to be around. So here, in hastily thrown together order, are my top five favorite adults in a cartoon. As said earlier, take the order with a grain of salt; it's not very exact.

• 5. Mr. Emile Ratburn (Arthur) Mr. Ratburn is the dreaded "tough teacher." He gives out bargeloads of homework, has 8 year olds study arithmetic far beyond their traditional age range, and is greatly feared by any third grade class assigned to him. Thankfully for Arthur and his friends, once you get past the mythology of terror and the mind-breaking curriculum, you find a middle-aged man who has more interests than just eating up your free time with homework. He's an accomplished puppeteer and magician, he watches Saturday morning cartoons, and he has an insatiable appetite for cake (indeed, this is probably my first encounter with cake becoming slightly memetic.) Interacting with Arthur one-on-one, he sees that Mr Ratburn is not just a stodgy teacher, but a true renaissance man who knows how to have fun when school is out. He still slightly addicted to school and giving out homework, but it far from defines him as a character. 
• 4. Cap'n K'nuckles (The Marvelous Misadventures of Flapjack) It's not ALWAYS a bad thing to have an adult be an ineffectual goof, and indeed, if K'nuckles was a model parent, this show would lose a lot of its charm. On paper, he sounds like someone you wouldn't want your kids to hang around; a shady, unwashed man who lures children away with promises of candy and into dangerous situations. In truth... yeah, you probably wouldn't want your kids to hang around him, but Flapjack isn't your kid, so it's okay. Basically, K'nuckles, an old sea captain (or so he appears) washes up one day into the mouth of Flapjack's whale-mother Bubby, encouraging the boy to come with him to Candied Island. Flapjack, enthralled by the lure of adventure, agrees, and they set off to find the mystical island... or they just hang around the dock, eating candy, fighting mermen, and trying to escape the wiles of mechanical genies. The big appeal of K'nuckles is that he really is a despicable guy sometimes. He tricks flapjack, tries to cheat him out of his hard earned candy, and often puts him in harms way just to save his own skin. Flapjack never gives up on him, though, and it's his selfless, childish love that somehow warms K'Nuckles cold, maple-syrup pickled heart into not giving up on Flap either. 
• 3. Dr Otto Scratchnsniff (Animaniacs) Who is the perfect foil to 3 oddball, clinically insane cartoon children? Why, an old, Austrian psychiatrist (Pee-sigh-kyatrist, that is.) When the infamous Warner Brothers (and sister!), three ink-and-paint creations from the Termite Terrace days that wreaked havoc upon the Warner Studio, escape from their water tower prison, Warner Bros CEO Thaddeus Plotz hires Otto Scratchnsniff to psychoanalyze them into some sort of rationality, and of course, it never works. Of the cartoons centering on the Studio-centric antics of the Siblings, the ones featuring Otto are almost always the best. The sheer torture that the kids put him through is sweetened only by the fact that, well, they're children; they're just playing around, and they mean well, even if they can summon cannons and man eating tigers out of hammerspace. 
• 2. Princess Celestia (My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.) Despite her title, Princess Celestia seems to not only be the queen of Equestria but also a god, having created the world and governing the rise and set of the sun. And yet, she seems to find the time to be friends to a group of 6 plucky young lady ponies. She is introduced first as the central character's -Twilight Sparkle- teacher, a rare if not unheard of privilege amongst the magically gifted unicorns. Sensing that her young progeny is spending a little too much time with her horn buried in books, she sends her off to Ponyville with a new assignment: make friends, and learn about the magic that is friendship. She doesn't often appear in the series (She's alluded to at the end of every episode as Twilight writes her weekly report on the lessons of friendship she's learned,) but when she does it is obvious that she is not too high and exalted to develop a rapport with these young ponies. A good representation of her relationship with Twilight Sparkle is seen every time she arrives on the stage; the other five girls reflexively bow and kneel in respect, but Twilight just runs up to her and gives her a big hoof-hug. 
• 1. All Of Them (Avatar: The Last Airbender and The Legend of Korra) I know, I know, this is cheating, but Michael Dante DiMartino and Bryan Koneitzko's franchise is so full of fantastic characters that I can't neglect any of them. The main attraction is always the core group of 3-4 preteens (or young adults, in the second series,) but there are also plenty of grown-ups, both good or bad, who inject so much character into the world even if they are only on screen for minutes at a time. Think of the poor cabbage vendor, always trying to peddle his wares and support his family when suddenly the kid who IS SUPPOSED TO SAVE THE WORLD smashes his cart and all his leafy vegetables, or Bumi, the crazy king of Omashu who seems to prefer playing pranks over actually ruling a city-state. Then there are the mentor characters and authority figures; ones we only see for moments like Zuko's longsuffering mother and Katara and Sokka's absent father, and ones that are central to the action, like the wise, eccentric and amazingly fire-bending proficient Uncle Iroh, once "The Dragon of the West" and now an outcast veteran. Behind all of these is the looming threat of the evil Fire Lord Ozai, played by the always threatening Mark Hamill. The second series, The Legend of Korra, has even more great adults. There's the villains (who I won't name here; find out yourselves! just as threatening as ever. There are minor characters like the wise park hobo and the pro-bending announcer. There are the mentors such as Katara (an old, wizened healer now, played by veteran actress Eva Marie Saint) the serene but sometimes easily exasperated airbending master Tenzin (played by the always awesome JK Simmons) and Republic City's chief of police Lin Bei Fong, the daughter of Toph who is just as kick ass and talented as her mother, and proves that beauty is not monopolized by the young; at 50 she is a very attractive looking woman even behind a scar and a permanent scowl (though truth be told this is easy to do in animation. In the spectacular spider man cartoon Aunt May was smoking hot simply because they used the same character model for Gwen just with grey hair.) 

• There we go. Go away!

Prince of the Asad Chapter 2

For generations, the relationship between the Asad’s Chief Father and his oldest male son was traditionally distant, even cold. As the son came of age, the prospect that that current Chief father’s rule would end came closer and closer to reality, and no Chief Father took this lightly. Only once in their history was an elder son ever slain by his Chief Father; he himself soon met his end at the hands of his nephew for this crime, but it was an event that was burned deeply into their cultural memory. They knew that every Chief Father, proud and strong, would do all he felt necessary to hold to his power, and that each one, no matter how fair they were, had power and temptation to do horrible things.

Kiane's husband, Chief Father Munambe, was as strong and proud as they came, and fair enough to be universally liked by his people both publically and privately, though he knew his years were advancing while Hassan only got stronger and more willful, eager to take his rightful place. The two butted heads frequently, and while it was merely heated words at this point Kiane couldn't bear to see it escalate. Munambe was reluctant at first, both seeing this as an insult to tradition, but more importantly as a vote of no confidence in him. Still, his love for Kiane and his bloodline was greater than his love for tradition or even his own pride. “Very well,” he told her, “But if he blunders, he'll go on no more hunts; it is no use having our children go hungry for the sake of a social experiment.”

Kiane took offense at this, but said nothing; her dear son was no blunderer. He held a spear like it was an extension of his own body, and he could hide in plain sight from his quarry and come down on it in seconds. He had never hunted with such a large group, though. She had told him over and over again the part he would play, not moving until Andase had and working with her to intercept and bring down the gazelle. Still, he was just as proud as his father; he might get arrogant, think he could chase one down on his own. This would be a fool's errand; no Asad could outrun a gazelle, who moved with such amazing speed and graze that they were called the angels of the grasslands. Teamwork was the only way to effectively hunt them.

So far, everything went well. Hassan was as silent as ever, crouching beside Andase and following her lead as her eyes darted from beast to beast, looking to see which ones would be the easiest to subdue. Noting her facial expressions, the way her eyes moved, the tiny mannerisms most would miss, he could tell which gazelle to go for. He prepared himself to pursue, waiting only for his mother to bolt towards them.

And bolt she did.

The herd reacted a mere split-second after she gave chase, and once they were underway they moved as one beast. All, of course, except for the slow, the young, the weak and the stupid. They strayed behind or went the wrong way or simply didn't run. The slowest Kiane felled herself, her stone-tipped spear tearing flesh like cloth. Next, she coaxed the herd towards Soria and Anisa, who sprang like a spring-loaded trap, cutting into the center and claiming two gazelle each. The remaining ones ran blindly straight towards Hassan and Andase.

Still crouching, the two young hunting held their spears straight out, and two gazelles impaled themselves gorily on them, like horses in a doomed cavalry charge. Yanking the polearms from between the cervines' shoulderblades they turned their attention to others, Andase felling two more. Hassan ran in the midst of the herd, barely keeping up as he held his spear close to his side. He had one beast in mind; the gray buck named Archangel. 

Prince of the Asad: chapter 1

Dawn was breaking, and already the Asad, the prowlers of the grassland, were on the hunt.

Chief Mother Kiane hid herself amongst the rough brush, crouched low to the earth. A small woman, only just over five feet when standing, she nevertheless looked the part of a predator. Every tendon, every spring and sinew inside of her was at a tenuous rest, ready for the call to action at less than a moment's notice. Dark brown eyes scanned the plains ahead of her as she rehearsed the ancient strategy of her people in her mind.

A sizable herd of crook-horned antelope stood grazing in the distance. They too were on a sort of half-watch, lazily filling themselves up on the rich grass of the plains while at the same time possessing an uncanny alertness; if one of them even smelled the hint of danger he'd be on his feet and the herd would not be far behind them, running as a unit from danger.

Unfortunately for them, there were always a few who, due to weakness, stupidity or just sheer panic, failed to keep up with the group or broke off from them. These were the ones Kiane was interested in, and after her initial charge scattered these poor invalids and imbeciles, she'd pursue them.

She wouldn't catch them, though; she didn't even entertain the thought of doing so. No, that was a job best left up to her allies. About a good stone's throw away on her right were her sisters, Soria and Anive, concealed in the scrub, spears clutched tightly in their hands. On her left was her niece, Andase, who was accompanied by her own son, Hassan, the lone male amongst the hunting party. These four would wait until Kiane isolated as many as she could from the greater herd, after which they would bolt out to flank the unfortunate beasts, blindsiding them with an assault from their light yet deadly spears.

It was a tactic which had served them for centuries, one which her mother taught to her, and on down through the generations. All of her party had been trained in the art of the hunt since they could walk. Well, all but one.

Hasan, a boy of about thirteen summers, had never been on a real hunt before. The women’s council, who presided over the matters of hunting, was wary of the idea of a male accompanying a party. It was the women who stalked the game, not the men; they were to stay with the tribe, protecting them from their enemies and themselves. To take a man on the hunt would fly in the face of untold summers of tradition. Yet Kiane had been teaching the boy herself, at twilight, how to stalk, to chase, and to kill. He'd proven himself against rats and boars, and even fought off a hyena, and had been begging his mother to take him on a hunt for ages. With a little bit of persuasion, she’d gotten them to approve of him coming with the main party. Rasam was delighted, which in turn delighted Kiane, though she had had another motive for bringing him on her hunt; she wanted to save his life.

Books Books Books

I haven't done much of any writing since I reformatted, due to my writings being safely tucked away in my Gmail account. I have, though, been reading quite a bit. The book of the hour is TH White's The Once and Future King. I realized that it was just kind of, I dunno, wrong for someone who loves the broad scope of the Arthurian legend as much as myself to not actually have read all that much of anything, besides adaptations and condensations for children (Oh, and the films Camelot, Lancelot Du Lac, The Sword In the Stone, Monty Python and the Holy Grail,  Quest For Camelot and A Kid in King Arthur's Court, but I think only the first three count. The middle one, sorta, and the last two... no no noooo.)
It's gotten me thinking  the impact certain stories and characters have on culture. Probably more so than any character in western literature (Next to his fellow Brits Robin Hood and the relative youngster Sherlock Holmes,) Arthur has inspired thousands of adaptations, expansions, derivations, deconstructions and parody. The reasons for this, I think, are obvious; he's the quintessential tragic hero. He is noble, chivalrous, proud and trusting, almost all to a fault. The fellow players in his legend are just as iconic; the mysterious, wise mentor magician Merlyn, the valiant yet lecherous and slightly psychotic Lancelot, and the treacherous Mordred to name a few. All of them have formed the bases for characters and character types that still evolve.
Will this kind of thing continue? We already see it happening to an extent with certain comic book characters, but how far will it go? Will the relatively recent concepts of copyright and "intellectual property" hamper the development of mythii, characters and new concepts? And where do I, an amateur and relatively inexperienced writer, fit into all of this?
Alright, I'm done. Good to know I'm still good at making rambly posts.

I Figure I Should Take Up One Of These Again+ Computer Woes

It's been some time since I had an actual blog, and I think it would be decent of me to start one up again so I can share some writing and generally have a constructive place to do constructive things away from the noise and confusion of Facebook. So here we have it, the Words From The Man You Should Care About.
I write this from my noble computer, Vera, who seems to have a video card that is on the fritz. When the latest nvidia drivers for the card of its make (A 9800 GT) are installed, my system won't start; it will take me to the loading screen for Windows Vista, where greenish-gray dots appear in the background, but it won't go any further than that. When these drivers are not present, though, and just the standard VGA drivers are running, it will start fine. The dots still appear on the loading screen (And on the CMOS setup screen when I get into that pre-boot) but other than that windows starts and everything else runs fine; I just can use anything requiring Direct 3D, OpenGL or any of that fancy accelerated graphics hoo-hah the kids use these days.
So basically, I'm afraid that my video card might be dying, which puts me in a bit of a bind since I am unemployed and without money. Hopefully I can scrape along this way now as I wait to see if I can do anything. Help from my techie friends would be greatly appreciated at this point.